BEING OPEN TO RECEIVE ALL THAT YOU ARE MEANT TO HAVE
HAVE YOU EVER felt depressed or worried about something important in your
life—your work, your relationships? When it happened, did you feel that you had no energy to get through the day, even to carry out your ordinary routines, much less to do challenging tasks in your life or your job? When you feel this way, isn’t it true that the phone doesn’t ring, the check or callback about a job you’ve been waiting for doesn’t come, even your closest friends seem to vanish for the time being?
Then your mood turns around. You wake up feeling better and stronger one day—maybe there’s a reason for it, maybe it just happens. Once your mood turns around, everything else does, too. The phone starts to ring again. The check or callback comes. A friend calls to invite you somewhere nice.
Believe it or not, it works the same way with you and your money. As we’ve seen, money is a living entity and responds to energy, including yours, and to how you feel about yourself. When you are worrying about money, feeling powerless over your finances and sorry for yourself, money won’t want to hang around you, either. On the other hand, when you feel you’re in control of your money and have enough to be generous with it, money will naturally flow your way. Strange, perhaps, but still true. You will become that money magnet you want to be.
We all spend a lot of energy fussing over our money, wishing for more income, balancing our checkbooks, wondering whether we’ll have enough to pay the bills. But there’s a question even more important to ask than “Do I have enough?”: Is it possible that you are doing something to prevent more money from coming in? Might you be not only the prisoner, but also the warden in your financial jailhouse?
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THE PARROT SELLER
I was in Mexico once, and there was a merchant at a market who had many parrots for sale. They were just sitting on perches, none of them in cages, none flying away. I was fascinated by the fact that none of them were even trying to escape. I asked the merchant, “Do these birds just love you so much they have no desire to fly away?”
He laughed. “No,” he said, “I had to train them to think their perches mean safety and security. When they come to think this, they naturally wrap their claws tightly around the perch and don’t want to release it. They keep themselves confined, as if they’ve forgotten they know how to fly.”
Was this hard to do? I asked. “With little birds it’s very hard, sometimes even impossible,” he said. “It’s easy with the large birds.”
Suddenly a lightbulb went off in my head. We are, I thought, just like those poor parrots. We have all been taught to clutch our money as tightly as we can, as if our money is the perch of our safety and security. Just like those parrots, we have all forgotten how free we really are— with or without the perch. The more afraid we are, the tighter we hold on, and the more we have trapped ourselves.
When I realized this I asked the merchant how he would go about “unteaching” this behavior. “Easy,” he said. “You just show them how to release their grip, and then they can fly as free as they want.”
Easy for the parrots, maybe, but how, I wondered, do we go about releasing our own grip on money?
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YOUR EXERCISE
Please imagine that you’ve gone into your kitchen and turned on the faucet. Make a tight fist with both your hands and try to get a sustaining drink of water from that faucet from your fists. You won’t be able to.
Now open up your hands, cup them. Put them under the faucet and accept the water flowing freely into your hands. You’ll be able to drink to your heart’s content. Your thirst will be quenched and the thought “not enough” won’t even enter your mind.
It works the same way with our money. If we are grasping what we have so tightly, we are not open to receive or even notice all that may be trying to flow our way. We must learn to release our grasp.
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MY STORY
When I was starting as a commissioned broker, I never really knew for sure if I would make money the next month or not. It was scary. I’d think, Gosh, I had a good month this month, but what about next month? Then I’d freeze in a panic. The more I froze, the more depressed I felt, and sure enough, suddenly there was nothing I felt enthusiastic about buying or selling for my clients. Even when I did try to transact business with them, they could pick up on the lack of enthusiasm in my voice and didn’t want to buy from me. It was as if they knew something was wrong. It was uncanny.
I remember being in this terrible funk once, and since I figured my clients would pick up on it anyway, the way I decided to deal with it was to stay home from work one day and escape by watching TV. I happened to catch one of those PBS fund-raising drives. As I continued to watch, I became really moved by the participants’ passion, and during one of the pledge breaks, I picked up the phone and pledged $300. Three hundred dollars seemed like quite a hefty amount to me at that time, but somehow I felt that was the right number.
I can’t tell you how good I felt when I hung up the phone. I got up, called a few friends, went back to work the next day. Later that week I was in my office, smiling, when Cliff, one of the brokers down the hall, came in and said, “Looks like you’re in better spirits. What happened?” This made me stop and think for a moment. I really
didn’t know at first, but after retracing the few days before, I realized that my mood had switched right after I gave the money to PBS.
From then on, every time poverty consciousness hit me and I sank into another money funk, I’d remember that first day. I would promptly take out my checkbook and send a check to one charity or another at the time. It was the strangest thing, but I would feel much better right away. Even stranger, as soon as I was feeling spunky again, lots of people would call and want to open a new account with me, or a newspaper article about me would appear and the phone would start ringing off the hook. In every instance, the amount I had given was showered back on me tenfold in no time. More important, with each check I wrote, whether it was for $5 or $500, I felt more powerful. I was able to extinguish the feeling of poverty that had been burning at me. That act, for me, was worth its weight in gold.
It took awhile until it hit me that I had stumbled upon—or perhaps
was guided to—the answer to my questions “How does one release one’s anxious grasp on money? How does one make oneself open to receive?”
By giving.
I started to test my theory back then with my clients. I went back through many of my files and divided my clients into two groups, one that gave money to charity on a regular monthly basis and one that did not. What I found was that those who donated regularly had an abundance of money, more than they really needed. Most of the others didn’t.
I was fascinated by this but couldn’t tell if my little study was accurate, because I had no way of knowing whether my more generous clients had more money to begin with; maybe their abundance had nothing to do with what they were giving. Maybe it was a fluke. So I took a different approach. When new clients who weren’t doing so well came to see me, I asked those who I thought would be open to it to start donating money each month to a place they’d feel good about giving to. To new clients who also weren’t doing so well but (in my opinion) wouldn’t be open to it, I said nothing. I couldn’t believe the results. The better people felt about themselves, and the more they kept their hands open to receive by relinquishing money, the more their financial situation improved. It was thrilling. The key was to start respectfully to
give money away by making an offering on a regular basis. They had moved toward financial freedom by giving their money to others.
MONEY AND GRACE
In a course I once took in Eastern spiritual tradition, I learned about what is called the dharma of money, which means the “right action” of money. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I now know the following principle is true: We experience prosperity, true financial freedom, when our actions with respect to money are dharmic, or righteous, actions—that is, actions of generosity, actions of offering.
Money flows through our lives just like water—at times plentiful, at times a trickle. I believe that each one of us is, in effect, a glass, in that we can hold only so much; after that, the water—or the money—just goes down the drain. Some of us are larger glasses, some of us smaller, but we all have the capacity to receive plenty more than we need if we allow it. When you make an offering, the glass will be filled again and again and again. I knew I always felt better right after I made an offering
—stronger, worthier, more powerful. And after a while I began to believe that it was no coincidence that after I made such an offering, more money would always begin to flow my way.
This may seem like a very strange concept at first; many of my clients found it so. One question that’s always asked whenever I talk about this step is, “But Suze, I know plenty of people who are as cheap and ungenerous of spirit as can be, people with plenty of money who never give a penny away. How come they have so much?”
THE CHEAPSKATE
People who are cheap are more trapped than any of those parrots on perches. Being cheap has nothing to do with how much money you have. You can be rich and cheap, or poor and generous. Cheap people guard their water glasses and hoard what they have, to make sure nothing flows out. New water always has to flow in to keep the water in the glass fresh and useful; otherwise it grows stagnant, like standing water in a
pond. People who are cheap are letting their money stagnate. What they are missing is the serenity that money handled responsibly, generously, and well can bring, and the pleasure.
Ask yourself this: Who is the most generous person you know? Someone who opens up her home to friends, her heart to those in trouble, her wallet judiciously and without resentment? How do you feel toward this person? Do you think this person can feel your love and appreciation coming back to replenish her?
Now ask yourself this question: Is there anyone in your life who you feel is cheap? How do you feel about this person? Do you think he or she can sense the way you feel?
And what about you? Do you think another person would describe you as cheap? Are you constantly worried that people are trying to take advantage of you and your money? Are you unwilling to let money go easily because you’re frightened of not having enough? If you have truthfully answered “No” to these questions, no doubt you already give freely, of yourself and your money, and already know freedom in your thoughts, your heart, your soul. If you’ve hesitated over any of these questions, or found yourself answering “Yes,” then by freeing up your money in this step, you will also free up your heart.
THE REASON TO GIVEYou open yourself to receive all that is meant to be yours. Giving not only when you feel poor, but also when you feel rich, lucky, grateful, expansive, vital. Giving to say please, and giving to say thank you. It’s the impulse to give that puts you in touch with the best part of yourself
—and the principles of abundance that are alive in the world. Yes, we help ourselves when we give, but that is not why we give.
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YOUR EXERCISE
Decide on an amount of money that you feel you can give away freely every month. Let your inner voice determine the amount you should make as an offering. True giving comes as an impulse, so the amount need not be cast in stone, and it may vary from month to month. All that matters is that the amount be meaningful to you and that it be given with thought, humility, and gratitude. You must not give less than your inner voice tells you is the meaningful amount, for that is being cheap. That is not the way you want to thank the world and connect with it. Nor must you give more than you can afford, for that is not being responsible to yourself and your money. Your inner voice will dictate the amount each and every month, but each month it must be something.
If you are going to write a check to donate your money, write the check or make the online payment at the beginning of the month. Why the beginning of the month? So the act of giving isn’t an afterthought. By starting your giving at the beginning of every month, you are making yourself and your offering a real priority, an act that will stay with you throughout the month. If you have so little money that you cannot afford to write a monthly check, make a point of gathering each day whatever spare coins or bills you can, and collect this money in your special place. Watch with respect as your offering accumulates. At the end of the month, and at the end of every month thereafter, please make your offering. Where? Using the following guidelines, choose with your heart
—choosing where to give money is one of the great pleasures there is.
WHERE DO I MAKE MY OFFERING?
The action of giving money is different from giving anything else. Because of money’s living energy field, it is very hard to give it to another person as a gift in a pure, dharmic way—or to put it in more common terms, with no strings attached. If you give money to an individual, often rather than freeing you, that act can create a whole new set of emotional debts that can wreak havoc on your life the same way financial debt can. Any kind of debt is bondage. This doesn’t include giving a present of money for a birthday, wedding, or graduation, but applies only to gifts inspired by a pure impulse to give.
GIVING MONEY TO PARENTS
Studying the teachings of any religion will teach you that you are born with the duty of taking care of your parents, regardless of how well you feel they took care of you. When you give to your parents when they need it, you are truly opening up your hands and releasing your grasp on your money without creating debt. If your parents are in need and you can do this with tremendous humility, so as not to create a reverse bondage, you can give them your offering every month.
GIVING MONEY TO RELATIVES
We do not have the same duty to give to our brothers, sisters, or other family members as we do to our parents. Even though you may love your siblings or other relatives with all your heart, these are different kinds of relationships. When giving to a family member other than a parent, or a person who served in a parental capacity, there is a real danger of this gift of money tainting the purity of your love—thus tainting the purity of your intention. You may be thinking that this doesn’t apply to you, given how much you love your brothers and sisters, but I ask you to take heed. I have seen the bitterness such “gifts” can eventually lead to many times in my practice, and I ask you to think very carefully before you give your monthly offering to a family member other than a parent.
For instance, if you happen to have a brother or sister making far
more money than you are, do you secretly wish they’d do a little something to help make your own life easier? This is a common thought. But if such a “gift” came, do you really believe that no expectations would be attached? Won’t that brother wonder about or care what you did with the money? What if you ran into your sister while you were having dinner at a nice restaurant? Would you freeze with guilt, in case she thought you were spending her gift frivolously? Might your sibling start asking you what you need money for? What if you start doing much better financially? Will you feel the need to give back the money? Will your brother or sister feel you should? If you find yourself answering “Yes” to any of these questions, the gift in question is neither
purely given nor purely received. Maybe yours is one of the rare families where you truly do see each other as one. But most of us can’t open our hands gracefully to give to or receive from family members in a pure way, so I do not recommend making your monthly offerings to family members.
GIVING MONEY TO FRIENDS
With friends, as with family members (other than children and parents), caregiving is not an inborn dharmic duty, which makes it extremely difficult to give money to friends in an appropriate way. I’m not saying that it can’t be done, just that it is extremely difficult.
If you offer something as treasured to you as your money to a needy friend to, say, pay her bills, you have not really done anything to make yourself, or her, more powerful. In fact, you may have created a problem for yourself—because from now on, whenever you see that person, whether you want to or not, you will remember the “gift,” and so will your friend. You will remember it in particular if you fall on some harder times somewhere down the road, especially if your friend is doing much better.
Money can forever alter the love in a friendship, so I do not recommend giving your monthly gift to friends.
GIVING MONEY TO A CHARITY
To my mind, the purest gift, the one that truly loosens our cramped clutch on money, is a gift to a charity. With this kind of gift, no debt is created, no bondage. You are faceless to the charity, a name on a donors’ data bank. Maybe you’re just slipping cash into a donation box, and no one will ever know that you have given it. If you give this way, your gift is pure.
I have found that the most liberating offering of all is one you make to a charity you care deeply about.
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YOUR EXERCISE
To see just how powerful money is when it changes hands, try this experiment if you can. Walk up to the first person you see on the street (an ordinary stranger, not a panhandler) and try to hand that person a dollar bill. Note how you feel. How did he look at you? Did he take it? Did he say anything? How much anticipation (or dread) did you feel before giving him the dollar? Were you able to do it at all?
Now take another dollar bill and enter a place of worship. Locate the donation box and place the dollar in it. How did you feel this time? Did you say a prayer as you let that dollar drop? Did you feel better after making your offering? And there was no complicated reaction from the donation box, was there?
Compare how differently you felt after giving each “gift.” Most of us feel awkward handing money to a person (and most of us would also feel awkward being the recipient, which should tell you something as well). Remember, the act of giving is meant to open you up, literally to alter how you feel; its power is rooted in your altered state. Most of us, too, feel a serenity when placing the donation in the box, for such a gift to charity is a pure one without the emotional baggage of giving to an individual person.
THOUGHTS OF POVERTY ARE BONDS OF POVERTY
Regardless of how much money you have, it is the natural tendency of the mind to think: I can’t give money this month, I don’t even have enough to pay the bills. Or: There are so many things that I need, I lack, I want.
This is the exact moment to give, to give an amount that is meaningful but realistic. You must break these thoughts of poverty, for thoughts of poverty are bonds of poverty, for thoughts of poverty are the chains that keep you bound to poverty. Mental chains may be invisible but they imprison you nevertheless. You must and you can break through, overcome, move beyond these mental barriers. You must open your hand. Repeat the new truth you created in Step 3 for strength, think of how much you do have, think of others with far less, and give thanks with your gift.
True financial freedom is a powerful state of mind, a state of being, and it comes from following all nine steps toward financial freedom. When you have reached this seventh step, and feel free to give from what you have and what you are creating, purely and from the heart, you are nearly free. With your offerings you are participating in the flow of wealth, which, I’ve discovered, is never-ending. It isn’t how much you have that creates a sense of freedom. It’s how you feel about what you have, or don’t have, that either keeps you prisoner or sets you free— which is the eighth step to financial freedom.
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1. Summary of step 7;
ReplyDeleteOur emotions are tied to the flow of money in our lives.
We can release our anxious grip on money by giving.
Giving less than your inner voice tells you is being cheap.Nor must you give more than you can afford as that would be irresponsible.
2.This resonates with me;
"Thoughts of poverty are bonds of poverty .Mental chains are invisible but they imprison you nevertheless".
The parrots in the story were imprisoned by there thoughts, the same way some people are imprisoned by there thoughts. When these thoughts of poverty come, the author explains them to be bondage, mental chains, but chains nonetheless and they are breakable by giving to charity.
STEP 7
ReplyDeleteMY 3 TAKE AWAYS ARE:
1. A. * MONEY AND GRACE- From the writer, a course she once took in the Eastern spiritual tradition, I learned about what is called Dharma of money, meaning the right action of money. Beyond a shadow of doubt which is true. We experience prosperity, true financial freedom when our actions with respect to money are dharmic or righteous, action of offering. My take is when l respect money by giving, is just like a spring of water which allows God's grace to fall in abundance of anything through the money l gave.
* LESSONS FROM THE PARROT SELLER- From the author, there was a merchant at the market on her visit to Mexico when she saw parrots been caged in a perch. Through training of the parrots, they adapted to the system of perching without even thinking to fly away. Same with our money, when we release it without any grip and grasp in a confined area of fears, we just have to let go of the fears and doubt to allow money to circulate within our territory and beyond, it could yield more and more.
* THOUGHTS OF POVERTY ARE BONDS OF POVERTY- According to the author, regardless of how much money l have, it is the natural tendency of the mind to think, l can't afford to give this money, this month to even pay bills. It is realistic to give an amount that is meaningful. I must break this thought of poverty by saying how can l afford this in a Billionaires mindset than to say l can't afford.
B. STEP 8 TAKE AWAY ARE:
* THINGS TO OCCUPY THE PRESENT, HAVE RECESSION-
The passage of time always offers a new perspective. We normally use if only l knew then, what l know now. I have one way or the other, uttered this kind of words. Time reveals many lessons but often, it takes us to long to listen. Example like someone whose spouse leaves her a year or two of five years with the person saying it was the best ever decision to ever take.
* 8TH STEP MONEY FINANCIAL FREEDOM-
It is to understand and accept the natural cycle of money as it ebbs and flows through our lives, sometimes in harmony, sometimes in discord, is much like the cycle of our bodies, the up and down of an economy. It is important to learn to accept that money will also have it's ups and downs even if l do whatever it takes to have financial measures and discipline. Money like every other living thing isn't always going to behave in a way l can predict.
* PREPARATION FOR THE GOOD LUCK AND BAD LUCK- Similar to the previous one, it is always in the eyes of the beholder, and always cycling neither do it rarely stops for long in any one place. Being able to see the past, the present and possible future situations is the best in terms of money. From her dad's story, many of the good things would never have happened if the bad events hadn't occured.
2. STEP 7 RESONATION- The act of offering or giving- Giving has been most times endorsed in the Bible by God. The grace of money and to total financial freedom is to give as givers never lack and won't perish.
3. STEL 8 RESONATION-
Taking a long view of my financial future. If l have taken the steps outlined in this book, the setback l have today, the next year will not keep me from my financial freedom. In order for me to create what is in my power to create like wealth creation, l must believe l can do and have the will. I must take a leap and believe at my own inner knowledge are what truly create financial freedom.
My three super executive summary of step 7.
ReplyDeleteA).
i). One can become a money magnet when one responds to money as a living energy with energy. This is exemplified in the way he interact with our moods. Our mood changes everything about mostly emotional just the same way, ourood to money does. It is therefore expedient to embrace money with serenity.
ii). The parochial and myopic stance of grasping onto money without letting out the grip is a demonstration of stagnation. The parrot seller's story posits more about the very essence why we must interact with our money and therein have firm control of it.
iii). Giving is an act which is dharmaric. Doing the right thing. It is most right when we give to charity that showcases a faceless person giving but yet, has a fulfilment. The exercise to walk up to someone in the street and dash out a dollar compared to the feeling of going into a donation box and humbly drop what one has always brings in an awesome experience and a feeling that actually breaks thoughts of poverty and bonds of poverty.
2). What resonated with me more about step 7 is actually in the reason to give. Listing categories of persons to give money was like a wow situation to me. That of relatives and friends is still reverberating. That of charity is still resonating. As parents, very expedient but with a question mark. The question is, what about parents who never lived up to their billing?
Supper Executive Summary
ReplyDelete1. If we are grasping what we have so tightly, we are not open to receive or even notice all that may be trying to flow our way. We must learn to release our grasps.
2. One may make oneself open to receive by giving and that impulse to give is what puts one in touch with the best part of yourself.
3. Knowing where to make offerings ia another issue, is it to parents, relatives ,to friends or charity e.t.c. to charity is a liberating offering likewise to parents also.
2. What resonates most with me is the natural tendency of the mind to think: "I can't give money this month, I don't have even enough to pay bills; or there are so many things that I need, I like and I want etc understanding that's the exact same moment to give, to give an amount that is meaningful but realistic.
Enekwechi Adaeze Faith.
1.(a) My three Sentence executive summary of step 7 of the book are :
ReplyDelete(i)I make myself open to receive by giving and that way I release my anxious grasp on money.
(ii)Giving regularly to charity opens doors as Givers never lack !
(iii)We experience prosperity, true Financial Freedom, when our actions with respect to money are dharmic or righteous actions.
1(b)My three Sentence executive summary of step 8 of the book are:
(i)The passage of time always offers a new perspective as time reveals many lessons!
(ii)Many of the good things would never happen if the bad events hadn't happened first.
(iii)Gains and losses aren't flukes,or curses; they are built in, like the doors and windows in a house; and they both have the capacity to bring us closer to the sort of life we long for.
2.What resonated with me most about step 7 is the story about parrots when the author visited Mexico.
I have experienced that when I am tactfully generous I experience open doors unlike when I consciously refuse to do charity !
3.What resonated with me most about step 8 is "In order to create what is in your power to create, you must believe that you can and you will.
Mindset is everything. Whenever I am positive about things, the outcome is usually favourable and positive too
Step 7
ReplyDeleteI) prosperity ,true financial freedom are all experienced when our actions with respect to money are righteous or dharmic ie the right action of money.
ii) Give and it shall be given unto you.
III) When you are broke I mean entirely broke ,you don't have anything both money for food clothing's and no one wants to buy from you then and only then will you appreciate when you had enough and brings us to the realization to understand the time we had money and when we don't.
2) What resonates with me is when I give I simply get doubled back but sometimes that side of me that thinks am being extorted from crypts in now and then.
1.a my three super executive summary of this portion read. i. My attitude to money is determined by how I feel, if i worry about it,feel powerless, it will not like to hang around me.it will fly because its like an entity that it doesn't want to be disturbed. On the other hand, if I feel in control of my money and be generous with it too.it will naturally be available to me.
ReplyDeleteii.when I make myself open to receive by being a giver,not holding money too tight. If you give, it returns back to us,but when we withhold it ,it runs away.
iii.Giving.there are people I should give money like parents and charity, on the other hand, there are people I should not give money such as friends, then in my giving I should not give what I cannot afford.
b.My 3 super executive summary of step 8 of the portion read are. i.It discusses about the natural cycles of life and money, that is never constant. It changes overtime.
ii.To take the long run of my financial future, I must believe that I can and that I will.
iii. To believe that everything that happens is positive. She used her dad's story to throw more light. That the losses her dad's suffered later on paid off because,at the end, he made it to his financial freedom which was his ultimate goal in life .
iii.Take the leap and believe that our inner knowledge and belief are what truly creates financial freedom. If I want more money, I should welcome it,be open to it and treat it with respect. And when I do is always vice versa.
2.What resonates with me most about step 7 is,by being a giver,I will definitely receive .Just as the bible says blessed is the hands that giveth than the one that taketh.
3.What resonates most with me about step 8 is my mindset is everything, my attitude and belief are what will make me feel rich.Taking the right actions with my money no matter how much money and knowing also that everything really does for the best.
Nurse Chinwe Ekwedike
1a. It’s how you feel about what you have, or don’t have, that either keeps you prisoner or sets you free.
ReplyDeleteb. The act of giving is meant to open you up, literally to alter how you feel; its power is rooted in your altered state.
c. If we are grasping what we have so tightly, we are not open to receive or even notice all that may be trying to flow our way. We must learn to release our grasp.
2. I can simply say, learn how to give. Be free as much as you can with your grasp, because it will allow more to come in when you learn how to let go.